Thursday, December 29, 2011

More info on Broken Bond- *Free* for Kindle

Broken Bond is out and published! My first short story and I think it went fairly well! I look forward to hearing what people have to say about it.
Broken Bond is the prequel to my first novel Bonded With Love, it dives into the characters Byron Conti and Bristol DuPont. You learn more about the characters more about the past to see exactly how the break between the two characters started. In Bonded With Love you will learn that Cryder's and Drake's grandfather, Byron, had originally began a friendship with their newest enemy. That friendship started many years ago and ended quickly one night.
So this prequel will give you more information on how their relationship began and how it ended in line now the strong sense of revenge stays on Bristol.
I had a lot of fun writing this! Like I said I never written a short story and was kind of nervous that there would be too much information and I wouldn't be able to lessen it. I figured it would end up being another novel but I was able to get in the the details I wanted without letting it get too long. As I wrote Bonded With Love I knew there would be some extra short stories to the side. I had differing characters that I know will need their time in the spotlight.
Broken Bond is only the first of many short stories to come. But I hope you enjoy a sneak peak into the past.

Vampires live a long life and it can appear to be perfect to those who don't have the option for immortality, but when your sanity and place in society is dependent on the one you love- the thought of eternity can be excruciating.

When Bristol finds his true blood-mate at an early age, the girl who knows him to the deepest part of his soul- everything seems perfect. He pictures a future of only the two of them with no rules or limitations, but one terrifying night all of those dreams are stolen from him.

What happens to a vampire when it goes insane?

Check out BROKEN BOND for FREE on Kindle until December 31st! :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

where have you gone?

I loved you back then. Your smile and eyes took my breath away every time you watched me lovingly. Your laughter brought a smile to my face and I couldn't help but be happy when you're around.
But now you're gone. You left me behind. You said you would never leave me. I now have nothing to live for, nothing to laugh at, and no reason to breathe. I wish to die without you and I can't imagine anyone being able to convince me otherwise.
I had a dream about you last night. You looked as beautiful as ever. We cuddled underneath our favorite tree and we talked about life. It felt like old times as you intertwined your fingers in mine.
Then I awoke breathing deeply and you of course weren't there. I want to believe that the dream was the future not the past. That me seeing you meant I would see you again. But am I lying to myself? Perhaps. But I don't care. I want you back.
Do you know that when you touched me I felt like I was in Heaven? No one would be able to touch me like that. And when we kissed I never wanted to stop for air, I just wanted you as close to me as possible. But it had to end. It had to cease as all things do. And I wish to leave this world behind in hopes to find you. Are in Heaven? In the Otherworld? Or have you been reborn?
Either way I will find you. Trust me.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Last Breath by Rachel Caine

Last Breath
Morganville Vampire series book #11
by Rachel Caine

Whoa so okay I normally don't do reviews on here, but I think I might start.
And what better to start with than Last Breath, part of the Morganville Vampire series by the amazing Rachel Caine.
I absolutely love this series and have fallen head over heels in love with all of the characters. I have a thing for Myrnin- he's my guy. Kinda crazy but always there for you. Love it.
You know there are going to be some crazy shenanigans going on in this book and I couldn't wait to see what Ms. Caine had in store for us.
The book started off a bit slow- less with the action and more with learning and understanding- which is fine, but by book 11 expect to jump right into some insane drama. It still works because after all it is the 11th book-have I mentioned that already? And we've been waiting for this book for a while now- so with the slow beginning you get to bring yourself back up to speed with details from the previous books slowly creeping back into your brain, and on top of that you fall in love with the characters all over again.
Claire- the main character- is this small but very strong and intelligent female. How could you not love her?
And her big muscular but sweet boyfriend. Great duo.
And then Vampire Michael- who wins my vote for sexiest hands down! :) and his Fiance!! Goth Chick Eve- which I would love for a best friend!
These four main characters are perfect together and bring the story back to life.
So yes the beginning isn't fast paced, but it gives you the chance to get back into the swing of things- Morganville style :)
About halfway through, the action picks up and I literally sat at the edge of my seat as I read the rest of this book! I couldn't put it down! From one crazy thing to another- and new bad guys to go up against- the plot was well written, attention grabbing, and absolutely what I expected for Book #11! :)
Rachel Caine has absolutely shown me why I love reading her books all over again and let her creative mind wow me and of course craving more.
I give Last Breath by Rachel Caine 5 stars and completely recommend those who have already read the series to be sure to read this one soon! and those who haven't read the series to grab the first book Glass House and start it today!

Friday, December 16, 2011

What's Next?!?

Book 2 of the With Love series is coming along nicely! & if I keep up @ this pace, the book should be out closer to the middle of the year! A lot of craziness follows the characters throughout this book & they will have to fight to keep themselves sane as well as alive! Can't wait!
Also my short story will be available at the end of this year! The Past Returns- an interlude to give more insight on the past as well as current situations with the characters. I enjoyed writing the short story, it gave me the opportunity to share some info that wasn't able to be in the books! I want the reader to know everything they can about the characters to be able to gain more of a relationship with them all.
There are definitely more short stories to come :)
Also once I get done with book 2 I will work on my demigods book and get that one out there! A sarcastic main character and two hotties creating a crazy love triangle plus other wordly goings on makes me excited for this book also!

Monday, December 12, 2011

I'm trying...

I try. Try to be a good wife, mom to my puppies, daughter, niece, granddaughter, big cousin, step-sister, writer, employee. I try to do what I can on a daily basis to make myself better. Right now my focus is on writing, but I try to open myself up for everyone. To spend time with those that I love. Being a novelist takes up a majority of anyone's time trying to accomplish something like this, and being an indie author takes up even more time. So I try to do other things in the process.
But lately I feel questioned on my ability to accomplish it all. On my capacity to follow-through on everything. When I'm high up on cloud nine, those questions and doubts bring me falling back down and leaving scrapes and bruises on the way.
Why of all people do you question me? Just jump for joy, smile, laugh, enjoy cloud nine with me- I'm inviting you. The invitation has been mailed more than once. I understand that it's hard to get out of a role you've been doing for many years, but you have to understand there are joys in life to celebrate and you are allowed to celebrate them for more than one day.
And I am grown up now, smart, independent, loved, taken care of, and happy. Why does the bubble have to be burst so soon? Can't I enjoy the time for a brief moment at least.
My life is a little different than I expected, there are things from the past I would change, but right now where I'm at- I wouldn't change a thing, so please stop trying to do that.
Live. Laugh. Love.
It's my favorite saying- I live by it.

Monday, December 5, 2011

This Journey

In the midst of everything amazing going on in my life-- I felt the need to share.

I published my book as you well know-well most of you do any way. It is exceeding my expectation in sales and positive feedback is all I've gotten.
Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have finished a book, worked a year on perfecting it, and then getting it published. Let alone getting great results. It amazes me daily and I am humbled by the support that I receive on a daily basis- from friends, family, work associates, twitter friends, facebook companions. The list continues. It's amazing how blessed someone can feel only by doing something they love.
I was told recently how lucky I am to have found my niche- that one thing in life that completely satisfies me, relaxes me, comforts me, and just all in all makes me happy and to be good at it as well- I didn't realize it until now. All I thought before was "I'm just doing something I enjoy." but it's more than that to me-deep down it's a dream come true.
On top of that to be told I'm an inspiration for following my dreams. "But it's something I've always loved." and I would shrug my shoulders. I didn't do this to inspire or to prove anything.
I did it because I love it. Because it comforts me. It's like ice cream on hot summer day :) It relaxes me-like the sound of rain bouncing off the tree leaves outside. :D
From the beginning, again, I didn't expect this to take off the way it has. I expected only my friends and family to buy a copy out of "hey I know her" type feelings. I didn't expect to be published. To have it done in a weekend. I didn't expect to have people buying my book for Christmas presents or wanting my signature. I didn't expect any of it, and I guess what I'm saying is...
I feel lucky. I feel blessed. I feel grateful for the opportunity. I am touched by the miles and miles of support coming from all around.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for reading my book. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for being my friend-whether it be life-long, twitter, facebook, or other means- Still Thank you! You make my day you make me happy and you make me want to keep on writing. You inspire me.

And I'm sorry if this came out all sappy :) but it was just one of those moments! :D

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Short Stories...Should I?!?

I am thinking about 2 possible short stories for my With Love series...

First one: Drake and Cecile's relationship and up to when Cecile changes...More focus on two major characters and their love.
Would you read about that?

Second one: Going first to the past of Cryder's grandparents. Bristol's capture. The fire. Then jump to Cryder and Drake's days in PA. The family that surrounded them and what they had to deal with before Rena and Cecile. What do you think about that one?

Feedback is great! Let me know...

Epic Fail...

So the 500 calorie diet was an epic fail. I had a few worried friends about health issues with it being so low. So I have decided instead. To lay off of sugars as much as possible and eat more fruits and I need to cook more. So that's what I'm doing from now on. Cooking and eating better. That should already better my chances of losing weight in a healthier way. So we will see how changing my life that way will help. I feel better now and not as inclined to chew my own arm off or beat someone just for a french fry. All is well on that end over here :)
So I won't have any updates on that, unless I really start losing weight with this new "diet" :) Hopefully it will do something.
I didn't feel right about dropping the weight so quickly- as nice as it would be- I would only gain it all back soon after, and that I would hate...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Two things have hit me hard since I have published my book.
1) The fact that other writers who didn't know what step to take next or where to go with their finished and polished manuscript- found my decision to self-pub to be something they are interested in. And I get told that I was the inspiration for them to take that next step. ~ Now that inspires me. More than anyone can understand. To tell me that because I followed my dreams and pushed myself and decided one day "Hey I want to get out there and be published" let someone else get the same thought. I am inspired by that. That inspires me to keep writing. To keep publishing. And to keep sharing my dreams coming true for others to see and know that it takes determination to take the next step. I commend all who have followed their dreams and wish to only continue with my own. I also recommend those that are questioning what to do next- follow your heart. Listen to inside of you because that is where the true answer lies. Others will have advice to give, will have suggestions- take it in, but don't let it hinder you from pursuing your wants. Don't let anyone stand in your way. And especially don't let yourself stop you from moving on.
“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

2.) I have also recently found out that people- friends and family- that haven't read in years are starting back up by picking up my book. To be supportive of me they have decided to read my novel and still are continuing to read. Not just the first chapter but the whole thing. That again inspires me. I want to continue to write to get people reading. As an author and supporter of reading- to hear that I am bringing people back into it and they are actually enjoying it, tugs at my heart strings. Makes me put a deadline out there for the next books so they will continue to read.

So although- I have inspired some- those who have made these simple comments have inspired me. Thank you for supporting me, thank you for reading my thoughts, for enjoying my writings- you have inspired me and continue to do so. I am writing for you.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

Monday, November 28, 2011

HGC Diet...

I've started the HGC diet today. Low calorie intake, drops. The first day was kinda rocky. I was starving and even at some point threatened to eat my arm off.Plus someone at work made popcorn!! It was difficult, but I made it. Tomorrow I will find myself more prepared.
I am trying a different take on cucumbers tomorrow that involve seasoning and sweeteners...I'll let you know how that goes.
You are suppose to lose a lot of weight fairly quickly...but it's because you aren't eating!!
Anyway I will keep you all updated and let you in on recipe secrets, downfalls, and weight loss ;)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

have you ever??

Have you ever wanted so badly to see a movie but couldn't find someone to go with? Or like me and got to work WAY too early with nothing to do...and knowing how badly I wanted to go see this movie again... I decided to go to the theater all by myself like a big girl. It's the first time I've ever done that and it was almost freeing. It was one of my new fave movies and I've already seen it once but it still was a new experience for me! Has anyone done that before? I know people that love doing that. I do enjoy having someone to comment with afterwords about how awesome the movie was. But as just a couple hours of free time and of me time it was enjoyable. (It did help that I was early in the morning and there were only 5 other people in the theater :D) but I would definitely revvomend taking the plunge and trying to enjoy a movie by yourself :)

an escape

Do you ever find something that you just can't help but be addicted to? Something that sucks you in and you never want to leave? It brings you to that happy place. The spot that some consider their own personal bubble. A bubble from the rest of the world. A place that pulls you from every day issues and problems and into a new world. Where the only thing you think about when you are there is what is going on directly in front of you, nothing to the side or any where around you. For most movies or books take you there. Both do it for me.
I know that's why I got caught up fiction. Fantasy worlds that are a little different from our own or a lot different...either way it is an escape. One I always welcome.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

New Cover: What do you think???

So I was thinking that I wanted to spruce up the cover for Bonded With Love. I worked on this tonight. Let me know what you think?

The Bond

My heart beats harder when he is near. Why can't I let go? He has obviously broken the connection with me. I can't feel him near her like i use to. But my vision still is powerful and my strong sense of smell will never fade. His scent is in the breeze and his beautiful smile is radiating from across the room. Has he spotted me yet? Is he just going to ignore me?

She is here. No matter how hard I try to rid myself of the hold she has had on me...I can sense her. Why can't we be done? Why can't I let go? She doesn't deserve my love after what she has done. But was it really her fault? Wasn't she more forced into this love triangle? So what. She should have fought. I would have died before loving someone else.

He blames me for all of this. Why wouldn't he? I did it. I was stupid and ding of thirst and now I'm stuck between two men. One I love from the depths of my soul and theother I use to loathe but now can't stand being apart from. Each one tugs at my heart strings. Each calls to me silently in the night. Wishing that I be with them for eternity. I chose to step away from both but at what cost? What will happen now? I feel like I could die. Can you die of a broken heart? I think it's possible. I never thought that's how my life would end, but I can't imagine living any other way.

Friday, November 18, 2011

5 * Reviews for BONDED WITH LOVE!!

Yesterday I received my first 5* review and couldn't believe it! Someone is reading my book and they love it! How amazing is that? How dream-like is that? I love it! Everything this week...although it has been tough and long and tiring...has been AH-Mazing in my eyes! My dream is coming true and I don't think it has processed in my brain 100%...
This has already been an amazing journey, and yet it has just only begun.

"LOVED this book!!! I sat down to read this and COULD NOT put it down!!!! I am a big fan of vampire books and this was so different from everything I have read. I felt like I was part of the story...and I LOVE that!!! This is a must read!!! I LOVE this author and cannot wait for more from her!!!!!"

"This is a great book! I am completely entranced by your mysterious hunk, and I love the relationship between the two girls. LOVED it, and can't wait to get home from work to finish reading it. :)This is something I would have been sad to miss."

What am I holding?? The Printed(Proof) Copy of my Book :)

The first Printed copy of Bonded With Love came in today! What do you think of the cover? I'm loving it! Still have adjustments to make so will have to go through the process :/ but very cool to see my story in book form!! Especially after messing with it on here for so long lol!
It seems to be all working out and I am in Heaven right now :)

Let me know what you think???!!!

Step By Step

*smashwords - a place to sell your book on Apple, Nook, Kindle, Kobo plus others.

*Amazon- at the very bottom of the page it says "Publish with us Independently" Pretty simple process except the form is .mobi
I chose the 70% royalty rate.- but they give you a price range your book has to be at...below $9.99 and above $.99

*Barnes and Noble- -With this one I downloaded a program that converts the word.doc into epub inside word. And then from there I downloaded another program to edit the epub, because the paragraph spacing wasn't right...but REMEMBER take your current copy, create a new copy, and then do the space indents from the menu bar in edit or tools...then from there for page breaks(to seperate chapters and the dedication/copyright/about the author/ and title page) do section break.

* Sign in. and this process is simple.
~Publishing Company- you will have to create your own Publishing- which was exciting for me! So think of a name, purchase an ISBN# ($10) Don't let them pick one for you, because you will give the publishing rights to if you do that. Unless you are only writing one book and it is not a series.
~the Blurb
~the cover - they give you plain choices. Some with design, but you add your own picture. They offer pix, but I created my own ( is a great website to use a pic you have and create it into what you want. or you can get someone to make one for you.
~the size of your book (reg. paperback, hardcover, or trade paperback:I chose this one because it fits my genre.) then you decide if you want cream or white paper.
then they will print your first copy and send it to you as the proof copy to make sure it looks how you want it. Once you get it and say Yes this is it! Then you go online and let them know, your book will then be available for purchase.
~I recommend upgrading, because you will get more money for your sales. It's $39 the first time then $5 per year after that!

* a website that also lets you upload your book. Put your cover up. Do descriptions. Then you can upload your book to any of the groups that fits your genre and any others you want to leave it at. This website has a lot of people just getting on to read - which is good because you will have readers- and if they enjoy the first 2 or 3 chapters they will want the rest of the book.

*Twitter- obviously a great way to get yourself out there. But make it specific to writing.

*FB- of course. A page...although I'm thinking about setting up a group...but I'm wondering how to get that out more across FB...

*Start a webpage- I used, it was the top webiste to create a webpage. Paid $25 and then upgraded and pay $6 a month for the special features. (you have to upgrade in order to have the tabs and a bigger widget and picture option)

* - is a webpage for fellow writers to get together and help each other out. You can get your query letter critiqued. Chapters critiqued. Find Beta readers. Or read all about self-pub.

* is a list of agents - you can specify genre and all of that and they will give you at least 5 pgs worth of agents if you still want to go that route.

*Start a blog- is a big one. but there are others. You have to keep up with this one too. And you want to make sure it is attractive to the eye for readers. Mine still needs work, but with my cover in the background it's all black lol... So it's dark.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Website is up!!!

My webpage is up for BONDED WITH LOVE

In it you can:
On the home page-
Find a link to here. My blog.
Then read about me and my novel on the biography page
Next is the what's next section: a small box right now, but will pick up omce I get deeper into my writing flow.
Also Check me out is Facebook & Follow me is Twitter - Hit the follow button! I will follow back. Also BONDED WITH love is on facebook!
On the Shop/Upcoming Events - You can then click on the links to Amazon and Barnes and Noble for the Kindle and Nook editions...soon the trade paperback will be out for you to purchase! Plus I have a calendar set up to let you know when everything is getting done.
The there's the Guest Book! I'm very excited about this one! You can leave a comment, your name, and email. So if you have a review, something to tell me or a question (I will answer back), or you just want to say Hi! Please do!
I look forward to meeting you!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

BONDED WITH LOVE on sale!!!!!

So today is the first official my book is out there for purchase. Amazon Kindle has it for $3.99. I am beyond thrilled beyond excited and can't wait to see what peple think! Did I rush into it? Maybe a little, but if I kept looking at it, kept reading it - I would edit it to the point of tearing a hole in the non-existent paper. I needed to get it out there, to get eyes on it! I have fallen for my main characters with their very own personalities- and I hope you who read my novel fall in love with them also!

Monday, November 14, 2011

first day of Self-Pub

Yesterday I started working on getting myself published. The process took...some time. I started at around 3 (after the Cowboys game of course) and jumped into that website is very helpful with taking you through the step by step process. The longest part for me was the formatting from my typed MS to their specific template. Dealing with spacing and paragraph indentation took up most of my time. But it let's you pick white or cream paperB if you want a trade paperback or regular sized paperback. (I picked cream and the trade paperback size of 6x9). Then from there I moved onto the cover where you can make your own, or let them help you. I chose to do it by myself and they had quite a few to choose from...the hardest part from me was trying to harness the deep (very deep) part of me that might possibly have an artistic eye to put the picture together. I found one that fit absolutely perfect and I created it to fit what I was looking for exactly. That took-oh about 3 hours to put it together but I am completely satisfied with the look. After that it was picking prices and saying "this is it...push the submit button and it goes from there. The writing part is I ready? Should I look over it again? Am I resally done?" Then I pushed the SUBMIT button(eyes closed) and then "holy cow I did it! IKm published! I am a published author!!"

After that initial shock went away(well I stopped screaming and hoopin' and hoolerin' - I'm still shocked!) I set up for epub on the Kindle. I attempted with the Nook, but formatting issues had me beating my head against the desk(it was also around 4am). So that will be the new event for today!

I also started a Facebook Page and a website(bought the domain from godaddy)- it is very bare right now so I will refrain from putting it out there for now. Once it is fully up and running you all will be the first to know! The cover and descriptions are all up on Facebook. Have a lot to do with that one too.

I don't recommend going crazy and trying to do it all in one night 1)lack of sleep. 2) since I do have another job tobe at in the morning, hearing the alarm became a factor this morning (or non-factor however you wish tgo see it.) Take your time enjoy the process. Don't try to rush- hey I know its exciting trust me- but that was the one bad thing I did. Tonight's plan will consist of fighting format problem for the Nook again, prettying my website and facebook, plus visting smashwords another great site to get yourself out there.
First day- not so bad, will report about day 2 tomorrow! Hope this was helpful!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Follow me through the process

I have been doing nothing but editing, working on getting this book ready for you to read. I want it to be the perfect vampire story, the one that makes you fall in love with the main characters and take you to their world.

Editing is done, so now is finding websites to get it set up. So far for the cover we are waiting on licensing details from the photographer to okay the main girl on the cover, then we should be good :) I fell in love with this cover and hope to use this one, if not then I will look for something equally beautiful.

There are a lot of details involved with the self-publishing but I am so ready to do this. So ready to see my baby be put out there. And so ready to hear what people think. It's exciting but at the same time makes me very nervous. 

So as I put this together I plan on blogging on each process, on how I feel, and what you should and shouldn't do if you make this same decision. I know I will make mistakes in this somewhere along the line. I know I will get confused or frustrated with a decision I have to make, but if anything this is a learning process-a big one. Hopefully you will learn from something I put on here and it will help you in your future book-decision making. I got this :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

An unofficial trial cover for BONDED WITH LOVE

This is the front cover, the spine, and the back blurb for my novel. It is only for fun done by Midnight Whimsy to add to her portfolio. But her work is amazing and she brought my novel to life for me. She understood what I wanted and created it. Rena, my main character, is perfect.
Midnight Whimsy-Annette- is wonderful to work with and I would recommend her to anyone wanting a cover artist.
I know she is my first choice to do mine.

Here are the links so you can view her website and her work on my cover- there is also a gallery to check out her Portfolio and see the other amazing things she can do.


I decided to Self-Publish because...

Big decision made today. I have decided to Self-Publish BONDED WITH LOVE. My YA paranormal romance novel that I have been working on for about a year and a half.

In a contest that I signed up for, I received a comment about vampires being blacklisted by agents. Is that true?

To hear something like that after you have worked hard to perfect that you have fallen in love with- my baby- brings someone's spirits down. To be honest after I read the email, I felt my attitude sink as far as to say I was sad.

I love vampires, obviously. I feel like they are just getting started to make their amazing debut. Twilight started it back up again.- Absolutely they have been around for a long time- You had "Interview with a Vampire"- from as far back as I could think of from my generation. Then "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" jump-started it again in the 90s, followed by "Angel"- shows which still continue to be adored by their fans. "Moonlight" and "Blood Ties" are other great ones. Then "Twilight" came along- first the books, which brought on new books by new authors- then the movies, ("Breaking Dawn" comes out in a week!!!! *SQUEAL*), but you also had "Underworld" which will have the fourth movie coming out soon! Now you have "Vampire Diaries", a hit TV show adored by many, they get millions of viewers per episode. How can they be going out of style?

Dark and brooding. Eyes that stare into your soul. Sexy and seductive. That's what I think of when I think Vampire. Immortality, speed, need for blood, strength, impressive senses- at least one of these things you wish you had. They can be dangerous, the bad boy, a side you never thought you would enjoy, but you do. And it's okay. Vampires are gorgeous- normally- they've seen a lot and can show you a world you never imagined existed. Who doesn't want that?

Some may feel that "Holy cow Vampires are everywhere...annoying." But inside I think "WOOHOO vampires again! A new book! A new TV show! A new Movie! Woohoo!" So, if  certain people are tired of vampires, I'm sorry...but I still love them. I still fall for them. that darkness that hides in all of us. The world that you succumb to because real life gets boring at times. A great paranormal book/tv show/movie can take you there and give you excitement right from your couch. And that's what I plan on doing with my writing. Enjoy.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Chapter 2

My heart thrummed in my eardrums staring at his face and into his amazing blue eyes. My eyes trailed over every facial feature, every perfect angle of his jaw, and lush full lips that sat in a grin. His face was familiar, but it's impossible that he had been in my dreams. 
I tried using my own get-a-guy-tactics that I tried to teach Cecile earlier. “Um...Hi.” Very smooth. 
A soft melodious voice traveled to my ears. “Hello, Rena.” Still sprawled out in his arms, I hopped up. 
My eyes stayed on his. It felt like a trance kept our eyes locked. “How'd you know my name?” 
A smile formed on his lips, and I had to keep myself from melting into a giant puddle of hormones in front of him. “People talk,” he shrugged. “I am Cryder by the way.” Oh. Nice to meet you.” 
Standing up quickly, dizziness took over and I started to fall again, but stopped when his arms wrapped around me. Butterflies waged wars against each other in my stomach, and I could feel heat simmering on my face as my eyes remained on those dazzling blues. He looked like him, but there's no way, right? 
He helped me up, but held onto my shoulders making sure I wouldn't fall again. His hard stiff hands crept down my arms. “Well, it is definitely a pleasure to meet you Rena. I'm sure I'll see you again,” Cryder said and he dipped his head toward me. 
It is him! 
 My mouth rushed my brain as I realized who he was. “Me-see-too-you-soon-again-soon.” That was my cue to walk away, and so I did. 
I spun around to head in the complete opposite direction of Cryder, groups of girls watched us. Their stares held a lot of confusion. But when Cryder locked into their sight, their looks transformed to desire, and suddenly girly giggles swirled in the air. I felt like jumping into his arms and waving mine, shouting, “he's mine! I found him first!” But chastised myself for falling to the drama girls' level. 
Glancing back, I hoped to get one more glimpse of his enchanting face, but he had vanished. His exit left a stinging in my chest. I felt pathetic, letting it affect me so much. 
I began to make my trek to class, but then Cecile jumped in front of my path. Startling me. So, what happened?” 
 Nothing, we just said 'Hi', I mumbled, then walked away as fast as possible.” Uncertain if my mind could handle talking about my dream man coming to life. 
Cecile followed me. “What happened to all that great advice you gave me?”  
Well, I said 'Hi' didn't I?” 
She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I was asking about why you were on the ground to begin with.”  
Chills and a headache. Do you think it could just be the heat causing all of this? Or do you think there really is something wrong with me, C?” A worried tone filled my voice. 
 It's not something wrong with you, just a reaction from everything you've been through. We'll figure it all out. Promise.” She patted my shoulder in a comforting gesture. “So, did you know him?” 
Who?” I asked, as a smirk formed on my lips. How could I not know him, or his name?  
Cryder, Drake's cousin. The guy who had his hands all over you?” 
 No. I didn't really know him. That's Drake's cousin?” She nodded. “How do you know him?”  
Oh, Jen gave me the scoop over by the fountain. I was asking about Drake, of course, but then we saw you and Cryder getting all sorts of cozy. So I asked about him too.”  
I think I've seen him before, but I'm not sure where.” I decided against confessing about my dreams, and Cryder being in them, until I felt absolutely certain. It was going to sound crazy no matter what, but I wanted to be one hundred percent positive.  
“Well he looked pretty comfortable around you.She winked.  
Oh, please. He just was there when my body decided to go crazy again.” 
 Does it seem like it's getting worse?” 
 Yeah, it does, and it kinda scares me. So, I think I'm going to set up an appointment for the doc, just to get checked out.” 
 “Okay. I think you need to go, it seems like it's getting worse to me.” Her usual look of concern was back, as she stared at me for a few seconds. The class bell rang, cuing the end of our conversation. 
We walked down the hallway. I kept glancing behind me, hoping to see Cryder again before we went into class, but he wasn't anywhere around. Biology class started, and I pictured those dreamy blue eyes for a split second and they sent tingles to my stomach. Thinking about the beautiful smile he had on his gorgeous face, sent a shiver swimming up my spine. 
I was brought back to the real world when I noticed everyone’s eyes on me. Mr. Pyler, my teacher, stood next to my desk. He apparently had been saying my name this whole time. 
Short gray-haired Mr. Pyler, gestured his head toward his hand, which held a folded up piece of notebook paper. “It appears Ms. Vesten, you have dropped this note.” I stared at him blankly, and Mr. Pyler tapped his foot on the tiled floor. 
A sure tone filled my voice. “That's not mine, sir. People don't pass notes anymore, we text. Writing notes is for the old timers.” Bad timing for a sarcastic comment.  
And bad form to pick up a chick.” Some guy from across the room mumbled under his breath. 
Mr. Pyler turned toward the direction of the guy, then back to me and flipped the note over. There written in beautiful penmanship, was my name. “Take it now, or I will read it in front of everyone. And you better watch your tone with me, or I will be glad to offer detention for that mouth of yours.” 
I snatched the note from his hand, feeling the heat from embarrassment grow warmer in my cheeks. “Um, thank you sir.” He pursed his lips. “If you don't mind, I would like to continue with class, and please do not litter my walkway again.” I nodded, as he stomped back to the front of class. After everything else that had gone wrong, this week needed to be over soon.
Staring at my name written in pretty calligraphy on the outside of the note, I picked it up, and brought it to my lap. Opening it, I first searched at the bottom of the page for a name, anything to give a clue to who had sent it, but there was none. I sat confused why someone would write a note, instead of text, it seemed almost archaic.  
Again, no one jumped up and down waving their hands to confess about writing the note, or embarrassing me in the middle of class. I did notice a new student though, and wondered if he was the “hot” guy Cecile talked about. Cryder's cousin, Drake. I stared at the letter, the sentence actually, reading it over multiple times in my head.  
Your blood is mine.  
There was one sentence on the whole paper. My hands shook and my breath came in shallow gasps. The room around me started to go blurry and my knees began to tremble. I jumped out of my desk and hurtled myself through the classroom door, not caring who stared. Once I made my way to the bathroom I locked the door behind me. Shaking, I splashed water on my face to calm down. I read the note once more, turning it around and checking again that my name was still on the outside. I couldn't deny it. This one sentence was intended for my eyes only. The words scrambled around and around in my head, making me sick to my stomach. A dozen different emotions brought on by only a few words.
                                                              * * * * * * * * *
Heading outside for lunch, I found Cecile sitting in our normal spot; a bench by the fountain. We’d claimed that spot since we were freshman. We were complete opposites. Where she normally wore pastel pinks and pale purples with heels to accentuate her gazelle-like legs, my outfits consisted of tees and extra comfortable jeans. The loose clothing hid the curves that matured rapidly on my vertically challenged frame, without asking for my permission first. In my vain attempt to receive eye contact with the guys, I kept the girls fully-covered. We normally sat together, just the two of us. Instead of sitting and waiting for me today, she sat with the new student, Drake. 
She noticed me standing there, and glided over in one smooth motion. “What happened, sweetheart? You just shot out of class after Mr. Pyler gave you that note.” She placed her arms around my shoulders and directed me to sit on the bench with the new kid.  
Started feeling sick is all. Apparently Mr. Pyler decided to tattle on me, because there was banging on the bathroom door in less than five minutes, and I had to go in and sit with Mrs. Stanley.” 
 The principal? No way. What did she have to say?”  
That my behavior was uncalled for, and I better never do it again.” 
With a roll of her eyes. “That's it? Any other student, and they would've gotten a month of detention. But not you, Miss Brainiac. Are you feeling sick still?”  
Not right now. It comes and goes.”  
Well I'm keeping my eyes on you, and I'm about two seconds away from dragging your ass to the hospital. You're really worrying me.” 
 Let's just get through this day. “Kay?” 
In a stern voice. “Fine. I guess, Rena. But if it doesn't go away by this afternoon, I'm yanking you by the hair to the hospital. Got it?” I nodded. So what did the note say that had you all riled up?” 
I gulped loudly and hoped like hell she didn't hear it. “This had nothing to do with the note. I the bathroom. Seriously.” I hesitated, not wanting to spill my dramatic guts in front of the new guy. But his golden-gray eyes stayed on Cecile, following her every move. 
With my comment, Drake turned to me with a knowing smile. “In Biology? That was extremely awkward between you and Mr. Pyler. I was glad to be sitting in the back and no where near his glare.” His whole body was turned toward me now. 
“Did you...never-mind...Yeah it was.”
“I didn't see where it came from, but I bet it was an important note, to interrupt class like that.” His voice held a knowing tone, as if trying to coax me to say more.  
Oh, it just had a sentence. And it didn't make any sense.” I gave a slight shrug, trying to act nonchalant, even though inside I was shaking.  
I see.” Again his tenor voice held a tone like he knew my secret. His eyes stayed on mine for a brief second, before transferring to Cecile. 
Cecile, obviously feeling left out, went to wrap her arms around him as if staking claim. That was odd behavior for Cecile. “Where are my manners?” Her voice was extra squeaky. “Drake this is my best friend in the whole wide world, Rena Marie Vesten. Rena, this is Drake Leone, our new student from...where are you from again?” 
As if I hadn't known his name or heard all about him already, I said. “nice to meet you Drake.” We shook hands.
He was a thin guy, with a long torso and lanky legs. He had bronzed shaggy hair, the color of a penny, and thin lips that quirked up in a half grin every now and then. His eyes glowed with yellow sunbursts speckled in the pupils.
“Nice to meet you as well Rena.” A smile replaced his grin, and it looked better on his face than the smirk I caught earlier. “Ah yes, and I am from Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania.” He sounded old-fashioned, especially for an eighteen year old boy.
“Wow, you moved all the way from up north to as far down south as you could go, huh? So, why'd you move?” Cecile asked.
“Well,” he started. “My cousin and I decided that the town we lived in was becoming over-populated with controlling family members. They have different wishes for our futures, and so we came here.”
“So you live alone? So do we,” Cecile enthusiastically announced. 
“Is that so?” Drake asked. The bell rang to indicate lunch had ended. 
I gathered up my backpack from the ground and grabbed onto Cecile's arm. “Let's go, we've got class to get to.”  
We can stay a little longer.” Her starry eyes focused on Drake. 
 It's Mrs. Lane, and I've heard tardiness equals extra work in her class. Plus, I've already gotten in trouble once today, I don't want to add to it. Let's go, please?” She finally stood up. “Nice meeting you Drake, hope we get to talk more.” I threw over my shoulder as we walked toward the building.
In the distance, a whisper floated on the wind from his direction. “Oh you will.”  
Something wasn't right with the cousins from P.A. Their speech and the way they carried themselves, didn't fit the teenager's norm. And behind the golden flecks in their eyes, sat a long sad history. A past that went far beyond their claimed eighteen years of existence.

The day in the life of an unpublished author...kinda.

Waking up brings excitement for me, in the fact that Hey It's starbucks time!! and also I get to check my phone for new twitter friends, new posts from one of my face sites AQC, and see what fun things my twitter buds in twitterverse had to say while I was gone.
Then I get ready for work. (not the writing job) My other job, that at this point is giving me money-so I must go in daily for that check thing.

Then I drive, listen to wonderful music and relax until I make to Starbucks where I squeal with delight- then drive off and make my way to the other work. Once I get there. I say 'Hi' to everyone I work with, but then once I am set up and ready for my day to start I dive into my writing world. The one where I am in a bubble and everyone around me is not part of bubble tends to be sound proof- I think... This is where I re-edit the editing that I did of the fourth re-write. And I wished that I had an office where I could put up a do-not-disturb sign on my door, until all re-edits of the editing of the fourth re-write are completed. And even then I will be working on queries or the next book.

Then in the middle of all of these edits of editing, I focus back on twitter. Email my mom. Then back to twitter. Which I check religiously because I am sure someone else has posted a blog which relates to me, or a book that interest me, or some funny comment that I feel needs retweeting. I also check emails constantly, and facebook. Then I will head to lunch read a book by my favorite author. Once back it's time to dive in and do it all over again.

Once the other work is over, I head home have a wonderful dinner with my husband. Watch one of our many fave TV shows. Hang out with my two adorable puppies. Then get on the laptop. Follow twitter, my emails, facebook. and continue to re-edit the edits from the fourth re-write and hope that I am doing it all right. That everything I have learned from the blogs of people that have been in my shoes is working for me too. Or that I have paid attention in the AQC forums to know where I need to go next with my writing. We will see. But so far it has been a blast. I have met a lot of great people and can't wait to meet more. It was rough in the beginning (just ask my AQC group members- my writing in the beginning was a little...hmmm...scary- the only word I can think of.) They were nice enough to say 'You have the skill, but you haven't mastered it yet.' which I still haven't, but each edit of the edits of the fourth re-write I do brings me one- step closer. I will get there, and when I do- I will stop check my emails, twitter, and facebook- and then hop back into all over again. And I can't wait.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Is my blogging/tweeting/writing annoying you?

So today I asked my Husband a question: Has the last two weeks been annoying to you?

Why did I ask that?

Because about two weeks I started a new twitter account specified for only my writing career. I only (for the most part) follow fellow writers or bloggers or readers or companies that have anything to do with writing. So I have been concentrating on that to gain a support group or new people to try out my book and see what they think...hoping in the long run I can sale myself as writers/authors must do to get their works known/read/purchased. And so I am trying to put my foot out there. So my focus has been on that plus on finishing the latest and hopefully last re-write to my novel BONDED WITH LOVE. That was finished this past week and I am THRILLED! I Also have been focusing on my pitch/query read to try to sell this book and let my baby spread its wings :-)

So I ask the question...he brings up a bad texting habit I have which is off the focus of the initial question...but then says no the past two weeks haven't been bothersome- I think good...because I have been doing nothing but on the computer/laptop/tablet/phone working on everything and trying to find answers to it all.

Authors/writers have to multi-task large projects constantly, find a logical regime to follow, have a home life, and be's hard work-- plus you have to be creative on top of it all. It all sounds exciting and wonderful. Even though it's a lot to accomplish and take on, I look forward to the challenge. I look forward to bringing a new world to life and introducing my readers to some interesting characters that they can hopefully fall in love with, as I did.
BONDED WITH LOVE - my baby and project that I have been working on for over a year now has gone through 3 or 4 major re-writes- has been finished. There are still little things that need to be fixed but other than that the major dilemmas have been fixed. I can't believe it. I feel like I have crossed the threshold into a new world. I can consider myself an author :) I started writing August 2010. Finished writing the story about 6mos later. Then from there finding websites that offered guidance for a newbie like me, a place that understands the writing won't be perfect and I still needed to know what agents are looking for. Plus...I can write, but from mind to pen to paper the thoughts change and the wording is incorrect so that needed to be shown to me. As I have said in a previous blog...the things I have learned...I had to go back and fix that. I took this overly descriptive story and turned it into an action packed tale.
It is about vampires, but I felt that my story has gone a certain different path. I tried not to follow the others before me, and I may write this one thing about the sexy vamps and then switch my tune to a whole new universe of crazy...we will see.
I can't remember how the story started for me- whether it be a dream or a thought- it just came to me one day and I couldn't get it out of my I wrote and wrote and wrote until the Characters decided that their story had been told.

With this I tell you all who have decided to take this route...have decided that writing is whst you want to do...then you can't give up. No matter what people say or if you feel that it's a waste of's not. It is worth the time, worth the patience, and worth it for your very own belief in yourself. To have those words THE END and when you can set the pen down is very fulfilling. So write. Write every thought, every dream, even small ideas that randomly pop into your brain...then put it all together- again in THE END it is all worth it.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Main Characters

The main character. Vampire queen Rena.

Her vampire king Cryder.

The best friend and fellow vampire Cecile.

Cecile's bond-mate and cousin of Cryder, Drake.

Enjoy ;)

Friday, November 4, 2011

What would their eyes look like??

I'm trying to bring it to life in my head. How do I picture my characters?

Rena's eyes before the change. A pure dark brown.

After the change...the vampire gold flecks show vividly in her eyes now.

Cryder's sparkling golden-blue eyes.

The red of a vampire, of anger, of blood...

Thursday, November 3, 2011

to My Husband!!!

Where did I found you? You are so wonderful to me! You back me up on my decisions. Confort me when I am down. Encourage my writing when others find it creepy or too much. You have always been like that. 2 yrs ago you laughed with me from day one. Expressed yourself and showed me the light that shines from your soul. How any one could have looked pass you and walked away I can't even to begin to underdtand. How they could move on or say no I don't get it. But to those girls is "Back off bitches he's mine!!!" Hehe!! :-)
I love you babe with all my heart! My husband my soul my heart my life. You complete me from toe to soul! Stay as you are never change! Nerds rule stiffs drool!!! :-P


The bones break so easily beneath my grasp. I squeezed with a hug and that was all it took. They told me I should stay away from my family away from humans in general, but I missed them too much to just never see them again. I just wanted to say goodbye. Now I have made a mess of it, I have made a mess of them. Bones crushed beneath my firm grip, minds now mine with just a glance. My anger got the best of me on that one. When you have full control of the driver,s seat of someone,s mind...don't shout "I wish you would fucking die" because it and now all three of the family members I came to say goodbye to, to walk away from, to protect from myself...they're dead. But not like me dead, but dead dead.

"Oh their blood is tantalizing. No stop that. Bad thoughts. Can't drink their blood that would be wrong. Very very wrong."

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

for you...

thinking that you could be here brings a new joy to my heart. a joy i didn't think I would feel so soon. With just the thought of you I already feel a want to prepare your life to have what you need to be happy. I love you. To know that you were created by love only fills me with love. I could never understand this before now. And it aches that this joy could only be false. That the hope is only that. But one day I will find you again and we will meet and I will show you the full happiness that has been set aside only for you.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

BONDED WITH LOVE: Chapter 1 The Voice

Chapter 1
My heart reminded me to breathe when it slammed against my chest, threatening to break free. The sidewalk that offered me a way out of the Texas heat was only a few steps away, but even that was too far away for my shaky legs and nauseous stomach. I forced myself to pathetically lean against a tree for balance. The violent throbbing caused beads of sweat to trickle down my forehead, forming a damp trail to my neck. I could barely stand- let alone walk. What the hell was wrong with me?
I snapped back to reality when Cecile grabbed my shoulders. I stared into her honey-brown eyes which full with concern. “Rena what's wrong? Are you okay?” What was wrong with me?
Cecile Christine Richards, my best friend since kindergarten. It all started when we joined forces to conquer the playground against all boys. She became like a sister to me and still is the closest thing I have to family.
My voice was unsure. “I don't know, maybe the heat?” I swallowed audibly. “I'm sorry I worried you.” Giving a half grin and shrugging, I brushed away strands of my chestnut-brown hair from my shoulders then pushed off of the tree and led the way from the grounds to school.
We made our way to first period which helped to calm me after the strange morning. Cecile and I shared most of our senior classes. English was one of them.
Cecile and I lived together off of the money my parent's life insurance left me, on top of a large savings account started for my college career. My mom made sure a long time ago that I would be set for a while if anything were to happen to them. The savings hadn't been touched yet, hoping one day I would be able to figure out exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. Plus I wanted to leave this town and start a new life for myself.
Cecile’s parents didn’t keep track of her. She never had the best home life, with an alcoholic father, and a mother too caught up in herself- they didn’t seem to care whether she stayed or left. When my world got twisted upside down she left them and stayed with me.
I whispered to her, “lucky you, getting to spend extra time with me.”
Uh, no, I'm thinking more lucky you than me.” Cecile laughed loudly at her own lame comeback.
Yeah, yeah. Did you finish the weekend reading?”
Cecile shook her head. “I got halfway through, but was bored to tears, so I went shopping for some new shoes instead.”
The final bell rang, signaling the start of class. Mrs. Dawson pulled down the projector screen and the beginning credits of Beastly, a new age take on Beauty and the Beast, rolled across the TV. My mind wandered into the main characters'. With true love's kiss, a curse being broken and a happy ending, I found myself not caring if I ended up being the beast or the unsuspecting girl. I wanted my happily ever after, like I'd read about all my life.
              She is here.
The whisper made the hairs on my arms stand at attention. I surveyed the room closely, assuming I was hearing things. I shrugged it off and gave all of my focus to the movie.
           Oh god she is here. It has been so long.
My thoughts paused for the whisper that startled me once again. I took my time to look around at each student. Few eyes were glued to the movie, others stayed closed as their owners napped. Not knowing where the whisper came from, I thought of all possibilities the words could mean, but that stopped when it hit me again.
My breath caught in my throat, icy chills filled every limb of my body, and beads of sweat formed on my brow. Breath wheezed its way out, barely crawling past my lips. Gurgling noises bubbled from my throat. What was this? Am I choking? Having a panic attack? Am I dying? Breathe, I told myself. I only needed to breathe.
Mrs. Dawson paused the movie and everyone turned in their seats. Even the nappers woke to gawk at me while I inhaled loudly. Unable to escape awkward stares from my peers, I gasped for air and filled my lungs up once again.
No one said a word, they all peered at me until Mrs. Dawson started to walk toward me. “Rena, are you alright dear?”
Cecile turned to me, her eyes watched my every move.
Coughing, I answered, “no ma'am. I think I'm coming down with something. Can I go to the nurse's office?”
She nodded her teacher nod. “Of course. I'll write you out a pass.”
Hearing small murmurs from the other kids, I mashed my books into my backpack. Then took the pass for the nurse's office and fled from the room, hoping Cecile would come find me.
Lying in the dark cave-like nurse's office helped.
I dozed off, and an image snuggled behind my eyelids. The vision showed spiked raven hair bristling through my thoughts. Glowing blue eyes stared through me, not focused on anything in particular, only staring. The image didn't scare me, I knew in my head that it was a dream, and it was better than my embarrassing episode in Mrs. Dawson’s class.
I continued to enjoy my sneak peak. Like looking through a video camera, the scene panned out and I could see more of him. His full lips turned up into a grin and swirls of emotions swam through my body at his gorgeous features. I had the urge to reach up and stroke his beautiful face, so I did. Slowly lifting my hand to brush my finger across his soft looking skin, a knocking at the door startled me. I opened my eyes and sat up, cheeks flustered.
Cecile came in with a tray of food in her hands. “I brought you lunch in bed.” Her voice enthusiastically squeaked.
Aw thanks. You didn't have to.” I scooted up into a sitting position.
Uh, yeah I did. You're sick. Plus it gave me a reason to get away from asshole Jackson.” She sat down on a chair by my bed.
Jackson was Cecile's ex and a complete douche. He had more than one opportunity to prove that he could be a good guy, but he failed miserably every time.
Douche. Sorry I wasn't there to keep watch for ya.”
Cecile chuckled. “No problemo. I was able to dodge him and get away.”
Typically I stayed quiet and really only spent time with Cecile. I've always been like that, but it became worse after the accident.
A little over a year ago, I had been in the car with my parents, when a car swerved over to our lane. My parents drove the speed limit but this guy had been going around eighty. He hit us straight on-I was the only to survive.
I had a hard time bonding anymore, out of fear of losing anyone else. But when it came to screwy Jackson and the sadness that still showed in Cecile's eyes, I opened my mouth and let him know where to stick his stupid apologies.
Her eyes looked so sad, I changed the topic. “What the hell is wrong with me, C? Am I losing my mind or something? I’ve never had headaches this bad. It’s like a hangover from hell, except the fact that I didn’t drink anything.”
You freaked me out. I thought you might pass out or choke to death or something. Are you feeling okay now?”
Yeah, my head feels a little better, but all the nurse could give me was one lousy Tylenol- dumb-ass. Like I’m really going to OD on Tylenol. Well, thank god you’re here. Now we can go.”
Oh, that sucks. You should've come and gotten the keys from me. I have to stay for cheerleading practice tonight.” She fished the keys from her purse. “Here you go, if you still feel sick later just text me and I'll get someone to take me home.”
Works for me. Thanks C.”
No problem Ren. I'm going to head out. Get some rest okay?” She patted my shoulder and gave one last glance before she closed the door behind her.
Grabbing my sunglasses and making sure the keys were in my purse, I ventured outside and made my way to her purple VW Bug. I was glad we’d snagged our parking spot closer to school this morning. I had a feeling it worked out that way so Cecile could park next to her new crush. I didn't complain since I didn't have to walk a mile through the parking lot this time.
Climbing into the bug, I felt like whatever had hit me before was gone, so I decided to head to the book store. There is always a reason to go book shopping, it makes everything better.
I pulled into the parking lot of Books on the Square, Granbury's local book store, and headed inside to do some damage to my bank account. I felt like being generous to myself after the craziness I went through this morning.
The bell above the door jingled as I walked into the building, and the smells of new and old books wafted their way through my nostrils. This was heaven. I perused through the aisles finding all the new supernatural and fantasy ones. I thought about the large pile at home waiting to be read. It was about to get larger.
I made my way toward the counter to pay, when the pounding headache found its way back. Immediately following, nausea clenched my stomach causing a few gags to gurgle out of my throat. I couldn't catch my breath and my heart jabbed against my rib cage.
Trying to walk, to find somewhere to sit, I fell and took all of the books with me to the floor.
When my eyes opened, darkness surrounded me. One tiny light peaked from behind the black drapes. Fear tightened its grip on my stomach.
I stood on legs of jello and made my way toward the light, hoping it would wake me from this odd dream. I stumbled across the dark path, and a figure draped in night stood before me. A yelp escaped from my lips. I tried to get away, but his sparkling blue eyes locked me in place. His midnight hair spiked to a perfect point, and he watched me with pursed lips. His toned body towered over me.
His eyes danced along each portion of my body and I felt naked standing unguarded in front of him. In his eyes there wasn't desire but a longing, and I understood. I couldn't move, and didn't want to. For the briefest of seconds we stared at each other.
Then he took a step forward. With that one step, his body was drenched in light head to toe. I could see every detail. With that one minor step forward his whole appearance had changed. He went from being a dark seductive stranger, to a hideous foul beast. His blue eyes changed to a deep shade of red like blood coated them. His lips once so full and lush, were now pulled back into a sneer as large protruding fangs slid from his gums.
I screamed and looked around for an escape, but where do you run to in the dream world?
His hand clenched against my shoulder. He spun me around and brought my back against his tight chest. Hard stiff hands pulled my head to a tilt. I felt hot steamy breath against the crevice of my neck. Sobbing, I tried to break free from his grasp. Hoping that death in a dream was only that, but this dream seemed so real, so alive; I didn't know what to expect.
Thrashing about I felt more hands on my shoulders, and I tried to fight back. When my eyes opened, the room was bathed in beautiful luminescence. I found myself back in the book store.
What the...” What was that? I felt relieved to be back in the real world. That dream was frightening. So real. I could feel his hands still on his body. His hot breath stuck to my neck even in the living world.
Now, the hands that held onto me now were the saleswoman's. Cecile, surprisingly, sat with me on the floor.
She held my head in her lap and hovered above my face. “Ren, are you okay?”
I blinked repeatedly.
The saleswoman leaned over where I laid. “I checked your phone miss, sorry, I just looked for the last person you talked to. Oh and I also called 9-1-1. I didn't know what was going on, but I'm definitely not certified for anything but CPR.”
No, no, it's fine. Thank you, but I'm fine. I just need to get home and rest. How did you get here C?” I asked huskily.
Mason from English class brought me.” Her large eyes were even wider now with fear.
I'm fine Cecile, really. It's only been a few minutes.”
Ugh, no, you've been out for at least fifteen minutes. I made sure Mason sped over here.”
A bonus about living in a small town, it only took about five minutes to get anywhere. Plus the high school sat next door to the bookstore.
I started hearing distant sirens of the ambulance, on its way to check up on me. I hoped if I stood up and acted normal, they would go away. Raising myself off of Cecile's lap, my head rushed with blood but I forced myself to stand.
Hey the ambulance is almost here, I don't think you should get up.” The saleswoman put her hand on my shoulder.
I caught sight of her name tag. “Darla, I'm fine. I just need to go home and relax. C, will you please take me home? Seriously I'm better.” I did a little jig in the middle of the aisle, only to prove I could without toppling over, but the dizziness lingered. The room began to spin and I quickly regretted moving at all.
Okay fine Ren, I will take you home, but I will be on your butt in two seconds if I sense even one thing wrong with you. Got it?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah got it.” Turning, I said, “thanks for your help Darla, and so sorry for the scare. I'll let them do their check-up before we go home.”
She nodded.
I begrudgingly waited to get checked on by the paramedics, and once they gave me a clean bill of health we headed home.
I had hoped for a little more from my senior year, but this pushed limits.
* * * * * * * * *
Rena come on. We're late.” The last one out the door as always, I grabbed a strawberry pop-tart and bolted to Cecile's bug.
She peeled out of the driveway and flew at a speed that caused the purple bug to growl in protest.
Trying to mentally wake up, I made an unintelligible comment. “I slept in, sorry.” “S'kay, no big. I had told Mason and Jen we would meet them by the fountain.”
“Oh, who's Jen? And why are we meeting them?”
“We need to decide on our presentation for Mrs. Dawson's class, and they offered to be paired up with us. Most likely thanks to your super brainpower.”
Rolling my eyes, I mumbled, “oh okay. Sorry again. I had a rough night.”
“Is it the headaches? Or are you still having those nightmares?”
“Its nightmares. The headaches haven't come back since yesterday morning.”
“Wanna talk about it?” she asked.
It's all the same stuff. Just the same awful scenes, C.” Tears stung the corners of my eyes, replaying the images from last night's nightmare.
We stopped at a red light and she turned to look at me.
I tried to blink away the tears starting to pool around the edges of my eyes. “I had hoped they would go away, but my counselor said they wouldn't for a while. She said the guilt I feel definitely isn't helping.”
“Ren, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. I've told you that, everyone has. It wasn't your fault at all.”
But I was the only one, Cecile. I must have done something different to still be alive and for them to be dead. If I would've known what kept me alive, I could have warned my family.”
She shook her head. “It was that son-of-a-bitch, the one that fell asleep at the wheel, who did this to you and your parents. It wasn't your fault.”
“I guess. Maybe that's why I'm still having nightmares. I can't get my mind to wrap around it, only around what I could have done to prevent it.” The pooling tears spilled over. I couldn't stop them. No one could say anything to make me feel any different.
Cecile wiped at her eyes too. The memories were fresh in my mind.
Dark clouds puckered with rain above us. Splashes of raindrops covered the windshield, with the weather on the verge of becoming Spring. Driving home from an aunt's house, my parents sat in the front seats singing a duet of some lame rock song. I watched an alien crash through New York in the movie playing on the DVD player. Out of nowhere blinding beams of light shot through the car, followed by the sound of squealing tires exploding all around us. Mom screamed.  
I passed out and then woke lying in a hospital bed, alone. One leg simply bandaged, the other in a cast and throbbing with pain. It felt like hours until a doctor finally stopped by to do a basic check-up. She also broke the devastating news; my family was dead.
“We're here.” Cecile's words brought me back. The sun shone brightly in the sky. We marched through the grassy fields covering the front of school. The heat showed its strength early this morning, flexing its muscles by throwing large amounts of dry hot wind in our faces.
We made our way toward the fountain to meet Mason and Jen, and Cecile explained why we had parked in a different spot this week. “Okay, so I've met someone new.”
“I figured that was the reason we parked so close now. Not that I'm complaining. Who is he?”
“His name is Drake, he's absolutely stunning. Bronze hair that he fixes into that messy-just-got-outta-bed look, you know what I'm talking about?”
“Uh-huh, like every other guy in this school. Is he a senior?”
“I think so.”
“Where'd he come from?”
“Dunno. But he's got amazing gray eyes, and he's tall. Plus he has a hot body.” I could practically hear the slobber dripping from her lips. “And he drives that completely hot looking blue mustang.”
“Have y'all talked?”
“Nope, but I'm working on it. I have all these awesome plans on how to catch his attention.”
“Oh this should be good. So what are your 'awesome' plans?” Without intending to, sarcasm jumped from my mouth.
She ignored it. “Okay, so what if I try the bend and snap?”
”That's from Legally Blonde.”
“So? It worked for that one lady.”
“As long as you can control your snap.” I stifled a giggle,as she continued.
“What if I knock my pen off the corner of the desk in class as he walks by, and then when he hands it to me we stare lovingly into each others eyes?”
“Seriously? That's Clueless. You better hope he doesn't turn out gay for your sake. Don't you have any of your own material?”
“That's it. That's all I got.” She had stopped walking, and now stared at me with her arms crossed, a pout forming on her lips. “What do you suggest then, miss smart-ass?”
“I would go with 'Hi', or even 'Hello'. I know it seems strange and less cheesy but lots of guys fall for it.” I laughed hard.
“Oh whatever. Hey there's Mason and Jen.” She waved and jogged toward our friends.
Trying to keep up with her, I made it halfway when I felt it all over again. The headache was back at full force.
“Not again...” I squeaked, before chills broke through my entire system.
I immediately felt an arm wrapped around me from behind as I drifted to the ground. My body was brought down slowly and my head laid comfortably on someone's legs. The smell of pine trees filled my nostrils. I was mildly aware of talking going on around me. My vision blurred and I tried to clear it up by blinking, but it didn't work. A fog covered my sight but a voice rang clear as a bell in my head.
Soft, yet masculine. It whispered so close to my ear. “Oh my love, I have waited so long for you.”
The voice sounded familiar. “Wh...who are you?” Fear crept through me, but I was too weak to do anything except lay there.
“Do not fear dear one. I will take care of you.” The strange whisper shimmered through my mind.
A cup touched my lips. My dry throat screamed for whatever liquid filled it. Weakness filled me and I lay too disoriented to object. A fruity scent drifted toward me, causing my mouth to water and I drank the sweet flavored juice that spilled into my mouth.
You will feel better once you drink.” The voice whispered once again.
The arm around me tightened. The juice stopped flowing and the cup pulled from my lips.
In seconds, the fog had lifted and my vision cleared. A face bent over me and I found myself staring into a pair of sparkling blue eyes.