Monday, December 12, 2011

I'm trying...

I try. Try to be a good wife, mom to my puppies, daughter, niece, granddaughter, big cousin, step-sister, writer, employee. I try to do what I can on a daily basis to make myself better. Right now my focus is on writing, but I try to open myself up for everyone. To spend time with those that I love. Being a novelist takes up a majority of anyone's time trying to accomplish something like this, and being an indie author takes up even more time. So I try to do other things in the process.
But lately I feel questioned on my ability to accomplish it all. On my capacity to follow-through on everything. When I'm high up on cloud nine, those questions and doubts bring me falling back down and leaving scrapes and bruises on the way.
Why of all people do you question me? Just jump for joy, smile, laugh, enjoy cloud nine with me- I'm inviting you. The invitation has been mailed more than once. I understand that it's hard to get out of a role you've been doing for many years, but you have to understand there are joys in life to celebrate and you are allowed to celebrate them for more than one day.
And I am grown up now, smart, independent, loved, taken care of, and happy. Why does the bubble have to be burst so soon? Can't I enjoy the time for a brief moment at least.
My life is a little different than I expected, there are things from the past I would change, but right now where I'm at- I wouldn't change a thing, so please stop trying to do that.
Live. Laugh. Love.
It's my favorite saying- I live by it.

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